Eurgh, another party weekend. Thankfully, we only had _one_ party, the party basement proved to be a hit and everyone appeared to have a nice time. I am obsessed with the interactions of one of the couples at the party. I see this trait in a few other couples as well, where every or most of the things they say are a jab, moan, or complaint about their partner.  A few shares of (the Adam and Joe coined) “Domestic War of Attrition” tactics are acceptable, for example Emma seemingly being incapable of putting stuff back where she found it after using it or my indifference to a perfect clean porcelain toilet bowl. Indeed, these can be funny relatable conversation points where everyone can laugh at themselves and their own relationships. It is when a partner has nothing nice to say about the other that makes me uncomfortable, as if they have picked up another more heated argument in neutral territory to try and gauge who wins the public vote. “Never replaces the toilet paper, just leaves cardboard rolls on the side” how grievous an issue is this? Let’s ask the audience.  I could simply be over sensitive to this, and you could argue that my approach is far more nefarious. You _present_ a more idealised version of your relationship to your peers as and pretend that nothing is wrong. Never slipping that you and your partner are secretly plotting to kill each other with the added spice that both of you know the other person knows of your dastardly plan. Similarly, commenting on other’s relationships always feel gauche. A way of flexing and self-aggrandizing your own “we are so happy” vibes and smushing them into the faces of the unwilling who smile and nod as they wait for their turn to speak. With that said, that is exactly what I’m about to do, so open wide people! These complaints and digs at partners come to surface when things are not being resolved in the relationship. Of course, there will always be little annoyances that are likely to never change (Emma please put the cheese back in the fridge when you’re finished with it) but these things, I believe, should be treated as cute little idiosyncrasies that you solve for your partner with a smile and an “oh <insert partners name>”. So Emma, if you ever read this: please clean the tiny flecks of my shit off the back of the toilet bowl with a smile from now on. #relationships #love