Once again, back at it
A promise broken and remade
“I will write daily”
My best streak was 8 months
Every day
I stuck to my promise
I have made the promise countless times
To myself, to coaches, to others begging me to succeed
But
I have always broken the promise
Something gets in the way
An excuse is made
A Significant change
I get dismayed
And my promise becomes a lie
Now I’m back, once again
Like an addict
No
More like rehab
Physical or otherwise
I have to remember how to write
How to rhyme
How to fill the time
How to express myself in a non-work way
And it hurts, each sound, each verb
Each and every word
Doesn’t flow like it did
In the past that may (or may not) existed
Then again, was I as good as I remember?
I tell myself that skill isn’t about quality
It’s about luck
Of one hundred pieces written
Surely one must be worthy?
Maybe one worth reading again?
Another voice screams, IT’S NOT ABOUT THAT
YOU WRITE FOR YOU
YOU WRITE YOU FOOL
You write because that’s who you are
You write because there’s nothing else
For you in this world, than to express yourself
Through print, through paper, through the vault of words
That you keep locked up.
This is a robbery! Stick your hands up!
We’re taking all the verbs
Stuff the adjectives in the bag
I’m not fucking around, give me all the nouns
And now they are free, outside of the womb
Have gestated enough and are, at least, somewhat formed
Still wet and weak and confused
But curious, excited, and novel
Once again I made the promise
Once again
Once again
07/07[[2021]]
#writing #habits