He strikes when I least expect, this phantom of my past Why can’t I just get over it? To my therapist I asked The PHd said unto me, “do another visualisation” After 10 visits I cancelled our solicitation Alas, the phantom still haunted my heart. Paternal-shaped and cruel  Guilt, shame, and disappointment wielded unto this sad fool I should’ve gotten over it, I should be free already Were the boundaries set and tears spilled not enough to exorcise my head-y? Clearly not for still I suffer, my detachment from life my life-saving buffer But he still creeps through, my parental ghost and laughs as I stutter Through understanding my dilemma of fatherly bad behaviour Do I get close and always feel unheard, disrespected, and ignored? Or stay distant and suffer this phantom of potential fatherhood unexplored 01/07/[[2021]] #fathers #love #sadness